Don't be sorry, your not letting me down, I just got caught by surprise.
I run Trainz on an computer that is from 2004, and old AMD with a somewhat newer graphic card on it (as the one I had in there at first, one of the two fans came out in pieces one day...)
It means I have low frame rates, sometimes slideshow, and defiantly not a smooth ride on a map like the Gilpin Tram. But, it don't crash the computer thank fully, just my mind.
I'm sort of fed up with computers, Trainz and all for a long time now, so I've stepped down, gone over to something that brings me joy but keep the contact somehow with the community through the forum over at Auran and this one from time to time, and once in a while I get this urge to visit Trainz it self and pops in for an hour or two till I feel enough is enough, I can't stand this...
Keep dreaming about a newer computer, but still not there yet, but one day...
Till that day arrives, I do with what I have the best I can, and that is for once not let Trainz bug me to much.
For me it sounds like you hit a brick wall, that is no fun at all, been there, lot of times, and it always hurt as hell - and the worse part, I hardly made a dent in that wall...
I doubt very much your the one that make people leave a forum, I can understand the feel though - been using Internet to keep my dose of touch with people I often felt like people don't like me as I overuse their attention or something, but in the end, I came to a realization that we all have to stand for what we want and feel, and if people decide not to comment or write or anything, it is because they them self don't feel for it, not because of something I say or did, or wrote and so on.
I wish I had such power that I could chase people away by just posting (yes, I have destructive thoughts sometimes
) as it would mean a bad sort of power trip, but reality is that I don't have such powers, and I hardly doubt you have too.
All I seen from you have been words that don't intermediate and scare, you might sound demanding sometimes - but ask my husband, and I bet you he say I can be like that my self in my words sometimes.
We all are I think often so focused on what we feel for, wish for, long for, want, that we tend to think about those around us that we feel can help us get that thing/those things as helpful suppliers we just can ask and ask and ask.
I don't have the energy left for creating much, it sounds like you have came to a point similar but still not quite there and still have a wish to work on stuff, just that something with Trainz and/or your computer is making it hard for you at this time.
It might also be something in your life, who knows - for me it was life and my self that first "kicked" me out of Trainz now around 4 years ago, the work around TRS2006 killed what was left - and the newer version while they have brought some of the joy back now I'm stuck with an old computer that can't run the program as good as I wish to use it.
So, I have extended my break, I hope you can get a break too, but burning bridges always make more work rebuilding them later on, beside, tear them down and use them as fire food in the house is better then just burn them at location... LOL
Being we still have winter I saw that image in my head...
We can talk a little about Gilpin Tram if you want, but as I don't know what your problem with Trainz in the first place are I don't know how helpful it is.
You seem to loose a lot of work in that program, makes me wonder what really happens in there - so far I have not lost work my self, but then again, I don't use the program that much.
I have a small 1 baseboard route I was playing on, a little larger Yukon based route I tested out TS2009 with that I lost interest in due to computer to slow - and I have the large Gilpin Tram and my very very very large Cripple Creek route I certainly can't run except as slideshow on as computer is slow, Trainz is not happy with the stuff I put in, and I don't get stuff working like I want.
Hence, I'm back doing the other part of the Cripple Creek story, the collecting of info part.
I also have a play mining route based on some scenery southwest of Cripple Creek, massive changed and massively overfilled with stuff making Trainz bark at me and work slow....
Other then that, I don't really don't have much routes, there are a two more play routes I thought I can finish off long time ago, but I never got around to do them as my creativity dropped into the floor and I took a break.
Take a Break Ethan, that is always a good thing, who knows, we all might just be in out period and you have forgot to take your break.
Bad joke maybe, but it made me smile writing it, so I leave it in there.
You can't use this forum to much from my point of view, that is for sure - and while I must other speak for them self, your not the reason while I'm not in here actively nor on Auran's Trainz forum - in that sense I rather point my finger at my husband and say he is the reason.
If Trainz don't bring joy, put Trainz aside and do something else, if not posting on this forum brings joy, don't post, if it brings joy, post, don't care if people reply or not.
My motto, of course, I get more joy if people replies, but ultimately, if I posted something I felt for sharing and no one replies but I see people have looked at my post, I tend to think that maybe they just didn't feel for saying anything except just visiting the tread to see what I was up too...
If no one checked out my post, no one saw it, then I would think people didn't like me, but so far I haven't been experiencing that.
I know, I use a lot of words now, I need to stop, it's lunch time and the eggs we're boiling is nearly ready, so take care Ethan - thank you for you nice words to me and my husband.
Made me remember a person I actually treated wrong by not talking to him that much, I have fully forgot him as I been so preoccupied with Tore and life, thanks Ethan for the post and make me think over life a little.
Take care, everyone, and have a safe journey Ethan